KaDyo

Saturday, March 25, 2006

A stiff apology is a second insult....


...the injured party does not want to be
compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has
been hurt.


Ang paghingi nang tawad sa isang taong nasaktan natin, maging siya man ay miyembro ng ating pamilya, kakilala o isang kaibigan ay dapat maging taos ito sa ating puso. Sapagkat kung hindi naman ito dalisay o bukal sa ating loob, lalo lang natin pinalalalim ang sugat na dinulot nito.

Ever heard the saying “adding insult to injury”? Parang ganito yun...sabihin natin na may dalawang mag-kaibigan; si Nida at si Martha. Sinamahan ni Nida ang kanyang kaibigang si Martha upang bumili ng mga gamit sa bahay. Bagong lipat kasi ng tirahan si Martha at wala pa silang kagamit-gamit. Nang magtatanghalian na, nakaramdam na ng gutom si Nida ngunit hindi man lamang siyang inanyayahan ni Martha na mananghalian. Nang hindi na makatiis si Nida ay kinausap niya ito, sinabi ni Nida na pakiramdam niya hindi siya appreciated. Sabi ni Martha, “I’m sorry Nida, sobrang excited lang kasi ako sa pamimili at nawala sa loob ko ang lahat". Nida did not feel better. In fact, she felt worse.

Ang paghingi kasi ng tawad ni Martha ay may kasama pang pangangatwiran. Pinapalabas niya na kahit ganoon ang kanyang ginawa hindi naman niya ito sinasadya- its beyond her control ika nga. Inaasahan din ni Martha na agad na tatanggapin ni Nida ang kanyang excuse, ngunit nakatuon pa rin ang kanyang focus sa sarili kasya sa nararamdaman ng kaibigan. Ang tawag dito ay “Sorry-Excuse”.

Kahit na sabihin natin na consciously ay hindi minamanipula ni Martha ang pangyayari, lumalabas na ang kanyang plano ay not to take responsibility ngunit para humanap ng paraan upang makalusot sa gusot na ginawa niya. Kapag hindi naman tinanggap ni Nida ang rason ni Martha, si Martha naman ang magagalit kay Nida at sasabihin na kulang ito sa understanding.

When we receive a counterfeit apology we often sense it and so rather than the hurt being healed, it is deepened.
Upang hindi tayong masaktang muli, dapat nating gamitin ang ating Gift of discernment. Sa pamamagitan nito malalaman natin kung tunay ba o tunayn-typayb lang ang paghingi ng tawad ng kabilang party.
If we can change how we give and receive apologies, we can become less defensive, gain insight, grow wiser, and strengthen all of our relationships. We can also, then, be a strong model for others, including our children, teaching them that real apologies show strength of character, gain the respect of others, and have great healing power.
Pero lahat ng mga ito ay magagawa lang natin kung pababayaan natin ang ating sarili na maging mapagkumbaba at maging totoong tao. At paano natin magagawa ito? Allow God to enter our lives, let him be the Captain of our Souls and accept him as our friend and saviour.

26 comment(s):

Some people just don't give a damn about other people's feelngs... they think they are doing the right thing when in fact, they're not. :-(

By Anonymous snglguy, at 2:32 PM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger Ghie, at 10:16 AM  

Nice post tito :)

Regards po sa family nyo.

By Blogger Ghie, at 10:23 AM  

thanks

By Blogger Mmy-Lei, at 12:31 PM  

Wow! ganda ng post mo fafi KD :)
ugali na talaga nya ang ganun fafi, i agree with snglguy
walang pagbabago sa ugali ni Martha hehe...
Happy weekend sa inyong lahat jan.

By Blogger Ethel, at 1:01 PM  

I'm sorry I don't understand you're language, but I wish you the best and a good end to you're week :-)

By Blogger RennyBA, at 1:52 PM  

ich tut mir leid SAM!!!

bwahahahahah (pahiram tawa mo, may kasamang apoy yan ha)!

By Blogger racky, at 2:53 PM  

i so agree. perfect yung example mo. infact, in real life, mas malala pa nga nangyayari.

naalala ko tuloy isang episode sa ally mcbeal. minsan nakakabangga tayo ng tao sa kalye and we'd say sorry but we don't even look up or look at the person in the eye.

nice post!

By Blogger gracita, at 5:18 PM  

"Allow God to enter our lives, let him be the Captain of our Souls and accept him as our friend and saviour."

Amen.

By Blogger LadyWhiteSpirit, at 10:32 PM  

great post! great insight!

By Blogger JO, at 7:15 AM  

snglyguy, sabi nga ni W. H. Auden "It is... axiomatic that we should all think of ourselves as being more sensitive than other people because, when we are insensitive in our dealings with others, we cannot be aware of it at the time: conscious insensitivity is a self-contradiction."

By Blogger KaDyo, at 8:12 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger KaDyo, at 8:14 AM  

tita ghie, welcome at regards din sa family mo.

By Blogger KaDyo, at 3:07 PM  

mmy-lei, welcome back mmy-lei =D

By Blogger KaDyo, at 3:08 PM  

nang ethel, got ur e-mail, wait mo lang ang reply ko =D medyo malinaw nang lahat din sa akin ngayon.
I hope one day isang araw ay magbago na si Martha =D

By Blogger KaDyo, at 7:36 AM  

rennyba, ei thanks for dropping by, I appreciate your comment. Im sorry if you can't understand my post.

You got a cool blog too. Have a great week ahead to you too.

By Blogger KaDyo, at 7:41 AM  

darna, ang lakas naman ng apoy hehehe teka tawqag muna ako ng bumbero =D

By Blogger KaDyo, at 7:44 AM  

gracita, thanks sa comment. ako naman naalala ko yung commercial ng sprite ba yun yung may nagsasabi na "magpakatotoo ka brother".

Have a nice week ahead sa iyo at kay harvs. Take care

By Blogger KaDyo, at 7:47 AM  

bunsoyyyyy, musta na ikaw? belated happy birthday ha =D

By Blogger KaDyo, at 7:49 AM  

jo, thanks a lot. =D

By Blogger KaDyo, at 7:50 AM  

Nice post!

Parang na-gets ko ang tinutukoy niyo dito.

By Blogger Soul_Seeker, at 8:24 PM  

i was told by a friend/ex one time "you dont have to explain you did such. you just need to acknowledge my feelings"

He was right.

By Blogger darlene, at 5:16 AM  

yay!! gets ko rin para kenino ito pero nag sori nman na.........hayaan na lang natin na mapanatag ang kaniyang kaluluwa hek hek hek!! pasalamat ka pa nga fafa KD dahil saiyo nagsori na sa akin dehins pa.dpat lumuha muna siya ng dugo

By Anonymous burger king, at 12:21 AM  

Di, =D salamat sa pag gets hehe

By Blogger KaDyo, at 2:11 PM  

tita darlene, your friend/ex is a very wise being. Thanks for sharing this thoughts

By Blogger KaDyo, at 2:12 PM  

burger king, bat wala kang dalang hamburger ha at bat wala kang iniwan na pangalan, sige ka wala kng pepsi hehehe.

Ok na sana kung wala ng sori sori basta wag na lang magsasalita na parang jina-justify na tama pa yung ginawa na mali naman ahhh blaha na =D

By Blogger KaDyo, at 2:15 PM  

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